She is still there, still waiting

He left her there, all alone

She is still there, still waiting

Drifting memories keep coming back to her

Acceding her rave with divergence of her past and present

The past carries the cherished days

The days when he loved to be lost in her eyes

There were fights and sorrows

But every fight or pain never lasted longer

As it dissipated in hugs, laughter and joy

Love was life and freedom

Now he is gone with a promise to return

She is alone there, still waiting

Asleep, awake, by night or day

Hours flying by, days pass into months

Waiting for him is a special affair

Reminiscence is her best refuge

A source of happiness for her un-satiated soul

A Reminder of being alive

A hope for her desperate heart

That there will be a day when they will meet again

She awaits for him all day and night

But in her heart, also abode her fears

The fear which is her worst nightmare

What if he does not come back?

Like all those promised phone calls he never made

What if all her wait goes in vain?

Her fear and hope, her past and present

She is still there, still waiting

As I let myself sink

Walking on this never ending dark alley

Do I Know Where I am?

And where are you?

Weren’t you there a while ago?

Standing besides me, holding my hand

Smiling and crying

Promising me to never leave me alone

Or was it just a dream?

What am I doing in this dark alley?

Looking for those lost moments?

Searching for you, your smile and your promises

Drowning myself in my own tears

Where are you? I look again

I close my eyes

I see some light

And I saw you standing there

Saying good-bye

You turned around with apathy, Ah, and I saw you go

Don’t leave me, I hear myself crying

You did not hear that

You are too hurriedly walking away; yes away from me

Something breaks inside me with a bang

Something bleeds too

And I stand like a stone while you disappeared in the dark

Yes, it is dark inside too; I don’t know why

I open my eyes to find hope outside

Ah, I am in that purgatory dark lane again

Guarded by my own tears,  and my own sorrow

Numbness creeps inside me

I succumb myself to water 

Letting myself sink deep down there

Remembering (Ah, memory)

Once you said

“I am water and you are fire”,

I let myself sink in water

Because water is you…..

Traditional Neighborhoods - A Humane Environment?

A few days back, I called an ex-colleague of mine to touch base with her. Surprised to hear my voice after three-year gap, she inquired about my whereabouts and what am I up to these days.  I told her that I have returned to Pakistan and at present, I am living with my mother in our old house located in one of the oldest localities of Lahore. Upon hearing the name of the neighborhood where my house is situated, she said “wonderful, these are the places which still are more humane then the posh and newly built localities”.

I am quiet uncertain about the “more humane” character of the old neighborhood of Lahore; I am living in these days. Nevertheless, like any other Lahori residential locality situated in the oldest part of the city, the residents of my neighborhood also encounter numerous problems on day-to-day basis. Some of these problems are common to all old localities such as frequent power and gas outages, bad sewerage system, no solid waste management system, worsening law and order situation, lack of recreational facilities for children, eve-teasing and harassment, broken roads and streets etc whereas some of these problems are locality-specific.

The occurring frequency of these problems is so high that the populace of such localities including my own neighborhood is not left with no other way to deal with them other than ignoring such problems altogether. In doing so, they also forget that they should avoid becoming nuisance for their fellow neighbors. The same is the case with few of my neighbors, who at the moment are source of utmost annoyance for me and many other neighbors. The problem is that those neighboring houses seem very much found of Indian music. Now many readers of this blog would probably think how fondness for Indian music by my neighbors becomes an issue for me? 

Certainly, liking Indian songs or music is not a problem but playing those songs at full volume whenever one feels like listening is definitely a real problem. Just imagine the scenario that it is 12:30 am and you are fast asleep and suddenly you woke-up because of the silly noise of music entering your ears without any sort of hindrance, would not you feel like banging your head in the wall at that time? Also visualize in your mind that you have an old and ailing family member at home who is advised by the doctor for complete bed rest. But your old ailing family member finds it hard to sleep because your neighbors are entertaining themselves by listening loud music. Also think that your youngest of brother has an exam the next day but he is unable to prepare for his exam because of the loud music being played by your neighbor. What are you going to do in such circumstances?

To deal with the situation described above, my brother and myself discussed the issue with other neighbors and we decided to visit the houses of those neighbors who were fond of playing loud music at odd times, to request them if they could turn-down the volume relatively low while enjoying their favorite music because their loud music is disturbing other neighbors. However, to our surprise our effort to resolve the issue remained counter-productive. Our humble request has not yet been granted by those neighboring houses and they continue playing music at full volume and at odd times. I wonder if I should consider this behavior of my neighbors as “more humane” or as something depicting sheer “ignorance” or “lack of civic sense”. Perhaps, people living in old neighborhoods like mine would be “more humane” and more considerate of their neighbors some twenty years back or so but things have changed considerably today.